Late at night, when all I can hear in my apartment is the hum of the refrigerator,
it's the time to analyze what's going on in my life.
The good and the bad. I really have to take the whole package.
Tonight, I'm thinking about: l-o-v-e.
I hate love! It has the power to make me so happy,
but in a blink of an eye - a very fast one - it turns my peace into hell.
For the past year, I've been trying to figure it out what's wrong with me.
Why can't I have a long lasting relationship since 2005?
Why guys in my generation are so screwed up?
( ... or why can't I be as irresponsible as they are? )
I know... I know, not all the guys are like that. But it feels like all the good ones are taken!
After few glasses of wine, few chapters of my book and a good documentary,
here I go again, going to bed by myself.
It's coming to a point that it really doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe I'm just NOT ready for this long lasting relationship that I think I want,
maybe I'm just in need of real affection,
or maybe it's just the wine, since I feel perfectly fine when I go to bed after my hot tea.
Maybe GOD knows better that I am just NOT ready.
How could I be ready, if every time someone 'new' gives me the butterflies,
I suddenly forget about my self, my projects, my crazy thoughts, (but they are all mine)
and I start to idealize a whole new 'barbie doll life' with this person?!!
Pathetic, isn't it?
Yes, let's hope it's just the wine.
Maybe I need to stop analyzing the past, stop figuring out precisely how I feel,
stop deciding exactly what I want, and just see what happens.
Besides, I've got my books!
The good and the bad. I really have to take the whole package.
Tonight, I'm thinking about: l-o-v-e.
I hate love! It has the power to make me so happy,
but in a blink of an eye - a very fast one - it turns my peace into hell.
For the past year, I've been trying to figure it out what's wrong with me.
Why can't I have a long lasting relationship since 2005?
Why guys in my generation are so screwed up?
( ... or why can't I be as irresponsible as they are? )
I know... I know, not all the guys are like that. But it feels like all the good ones are taken!
After few glasses of wine, few chapters of my book and a good documentary,
here I go again, going to bed by myself.
It's coming to a point that it really doesn't matter anymore.
Maybe I'm just NOT ready for this long lasting relationship that I think I want,
maybe I'm just in need of real affection,
or maybe it's just the wine, since I feel perfectly fine when I go to bed after my hot tea.
Maybe GOD knows better that I am just NOT ready.
How could I be ready, if every time someone 'new' gives me the butterflies,
I suddenly forget about my self, my projects, my crazy thoughts, (but they are all mine)
and I start to idealize a whole new 'barbie doll life' with this person?!!
Pathetic, isn't it?
Yes, let's hope it's just the wine.
Maybe I need to stop analyzing the past, stop figuring out precisely how I feel,
stop deciding exactly what I want, and just see what happens.
Besides, I've got my books!
Good night, everyone.
